How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

Brett Farve

Penis

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

Dana Cohen not having herpes.

A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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