How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

Justin beiber comment if u get it

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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