How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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