What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Women's rights.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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