I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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