What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

jd and zach loves vigina

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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