What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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