How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Knock Knock. There was no answer.

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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