What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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