how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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quantum physics?

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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