Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

95556

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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