What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Potassium? K.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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