what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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