Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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