Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops