Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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