Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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