How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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