Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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