How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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Jews for Jesus

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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