A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

AND

How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

God.

My dad beats my mom At checkers

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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