Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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im jewish

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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