I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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DERP

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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arse

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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potato

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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A Jew returns change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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