Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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i like potatoes

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Knock knock! Yes?

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Hitler

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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