What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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25

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Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops