what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

A seal walks into a club.

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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