What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Flowers are colors Love me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

thumb_up thumb_down +7

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops