What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

Puns are terrible. I love them.

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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