a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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