Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops