Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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