roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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