how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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