How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops