Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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