Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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