What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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