It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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A man goes to the potty.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops