What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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