Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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