What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops