You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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