I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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Tunechi

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Yes

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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