A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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