An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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