What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

Tunechi

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

Apple hates Blackberry.

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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