Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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