What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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