Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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A house comes around the corner.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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