Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

Hitler

How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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