Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Gus's mom

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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