Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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My cat just died.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops