Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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I have a really funny joke.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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