A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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There once was this guy and he fell down

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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My spelling is horrible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops