- Anti Joke

What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

Two men are sitting on a sidewalk, The first man says: I know more about Brad Pitt than you, The other man says: Skip Bayless (born John Bayless II on December 4, 1951) is a sports journalist and television personality who is currently working for ESPN as a commentator. Bayless is featured on ESPN First Take, ESPN2's daily sports talk morning program, where he participates in a daily debate segment with Stephen A. Smith. Bayless is based in Bristol, Connecticut, ESPN's home base, and has been since production of the predecessor of First Take, Cold Pizza, moved from New York City to Bristol. Prior to moving to New York full-time, Bayless was a sportswriter by trade, most recently working for the San Jose Mercury News in California. Contents [hide] * 1 Schooling and family * 2 Writing career * 3 Radio and television o 3.1 ESPN First Take * 4 Cultural references * 5 Bibliography * 6 See also * 7 References * 8 External links Schooling and family Although he was born John Edward Bayless II in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, his father immediately began calling him Skip or Skipper. The name stuck, and Skip Bayless was never called John by his parents. He eventually had his name legally changed to Skip. He is also the older brother of chef, restaurateur and TV personality Rick Bayless. Bayless attended Northwest Classen High School, and was a player on the school's basketball team that made it to the 1970 Oklahoma State Finals. According to Bayless he was a starter for the team, though this has been disputed by others. He averaged only 1.4 points per game, and didn't register any stats in the State Final.[1] Upon graduation he was awarded the prestigious Grantland Rice Scholarship (named for the famed sportswriter of the same name), and went on to attend Vanderbilt University. While at Vanderbilt, he majored in English and History and was a member of Phi Kappa Sigma. He is also a member of the inaugural class of the Vanderbilt Student Media Hall of Fame.[2] Writing career Bayless went directly from Vanderbilt to The Miami Herald, where he wrote sports features for two years before being hired away by the Los Angeles Times. There, he was best known for investigative stories on the Dodgers' clubhouse resentment of "golden boy" Steve Garvey and his celebrity wife Cyndy and on Rams owner Carroll Rosenbloom's behind-the-scenes decisions to start different quarterbacks each week (James Harris, Pat Haden or Ron Jaworski). Bayless also won the Eclipse Award for his coverage of Seattle Slew's Triple Crown. At 25, Bayless was hired by The Dallas Morning News to write its lead sports column, and two years later, the rival Dallas Times Herald hired him away by making him one of the country's highest paid sports columnists—prompting The Wall Street Journal to do a story on the development. Bayless was voted Texas sportswriter of the year three times. In 1989, Bayless wrote God's Coach, about the rise and fall of Tom Landry's Dallas Cowboys. Following the Cowboys' Super Bowl victory in 1993, Bayless wrote The Boys, and following a third Cowboys Super Bowl win in four seasons, Bayless wrote the third and final book of his Cowboys trilogy, Hell-Bent: The Crazy Truth About the "Win or Else" Dallas Cowboys. Hell-Bent caused a stir over Bayless' speculation, without providing any evidence, that Cowboy's quarterback Troy Aikman was gay.[3] After covering the Cowboys through the 1996 season, Bayless chose to leave Dallas after 17 years and become the lead sports columnist for the Chicago Tribune. In his first year in Chicago, Bayless won the Lisagor Award for excellence in sports column writing and was voted Illinois sportswriter of the year. After a highly publicized dispute with the Tribune's executive editor, Ann Marie Lipinski, over limiting all Tribune columns to just 650 or so words, Bayless decided to leave Chicago and was immediately hired by Knight Ridder Corporation to write for its flagship newspaper, the San Jose Mercury News.[4] While in San Jose, Bayless became a fixture on ESPN's Rome is Burning and in a weekly Sunday Morning SportsCenter debate with Stephen A. Smith, "Old School/Nu Skool." ESPN hired Bayless full-time in 2004 to team with Woody Paige, then of the Denver Post, on ESPN2's Cold Pizza and to write columns for ESPN.com. In 2007, Bayless stopped writing columns to concentrate on his television duties, which included a spinoff of his roundtable discussions with Paige called 1st and 10 and the rebranded First Take. The first man says: Hi.

knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

Boxing on Boxing Day

Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

Ms Leong Sux

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops